Cell phone memory

By the time I got rid of my last cell phone it was so OLD that the store rep laughed at me. As did the customer service rep I called "wow, it sounds like you do have an old one! I didn't know those still worked." Friends compared it to the old Miami Vice style phones. while I would retort "it's not that bad, look, come on now"

It had many problems; most notably when the battery fell out (and it did often) it would delete a month's worth of memory -incoming, outgoing, vmails - anything and all of it. Earlier this week I found myself wishing I could somehow make that happen in my life.

A bit of history - a year or so ago I received an email from an old friend. She mentioned that she had information on the ex and asked if I wanted to know it. I hummed and hawed and finally took the advice of a great local friend. I waited a week, still didn't think I wanted to know whatever info email-friend had to tell me, so I wrote her back and said no.

Now of course I know the information - either they got married, had a kid, moved in together or a combo of all three. But the not knowing part was priceless, b/c whenever I would think of it, I would picture something horrible happening to him. Horrible? Hey - everyone has their own way of coping.

So a few nights ago, bored but confident that I wouldn't care what I found I went digging around the internet and found information. For days I consumed myself with the fact that they HAD moved in together. (Seriously though, how surprised could I be? Get over it! I continually told myself) He's also gone back to finish his bachelors. In performance music. Laugh with me if you'd like..

Ever consuming thoughts until a day later when my landlord (also neighbor) came over to borrow vaseline for their newborn. Their FIRST kid. He's 38 (landlord, not the kid), she's mid-thirties. We chatted for a bit while I soaked in his radiance. There is something magical about first time parents and their excitement of all that has happened. I couldn't get enough, it's just so amazing!

Should I tell you about my year and a half of infertility? Oh the bitterness and hatred at all those pregnancy and birth announcements. Oh how I hated to hear the joyous news of someone else's dreams coming true. It's been a long time since those years, most of my friends now are newly married or still single, so its rare to hear about baby births and pregnancies these days. Perhaps that is more reason why this one seems so special.