That's a good choice

I’ve a confession to make. I…..I….. met my boyfriend through the internet.

Whew! That was easy

What? You think that’s icky? Come on now you’re reading a stranger’s blog. How is it that you can think meeting people on the Internet is weird but reading the ramblings of a stranger isn’t??

It took a gazillion and one dates with weirdos and freaks before I met the current boyfriend. In all honesty and totally cliché sounding - I had just about given up and was set to let my membership expire when I met him. Looking back at all those dates, awkward settings, and eye rolling is now HILARIOUS. Going through it – not so much. One guy’s profile bragged/complained of a one night stand he had that resulted in a girl suing him for paternity. Go get ‘em tiger! I’m guessing on this one but he probably didn’t get too many dates. If any at all. Nothing says “date me” like “I’m your baby’s daddy but I’m not takin’ responsibility.”

The good men I dated consisted of a triathlete, army-ranger, and Internet company owner. The bad could more accurately be described as horrible. They consisted of a marathon runner, a guy who bragged that he slept with prostitutes in Amsterdam, and a guy that wanted to bend-me-over-his-knee-and-hit-my-butt-with-a-wooden-spoon.

I’m not kidding.

For every good guy, I met three to five horrible ones.


I ran into the wooden spoon boy this afternoon at lunch. We were in line at the restaurant, I happened to glance up and see him. He and his double chin looked at me. At first I didn’t recognize him, then he said “hi”. Confused I stared long enough for me to realize “holy shit, it’s the wooden spoon boy” and immediately look away. (If I’m anything, it’s sly) He stood right behind us. Uncomfortably close. And as my dad and I discussed what to order I mentioned “xxxx sandwich and soup sounds good to me ” From behind me I hear him say “that’s a good choice”.

Later I retold this story to the boyfriend. He laughed and then suggested I should have played it up by turning around to ask what he was doing there b/c they only had metal spoons.